Sunday, July 23, 2017

There's a place so dark you can't see the end ....

Over the last couple of months, the world has lost two beautiful voices... as a result of depression taking it's toll. 
Chris Cornell, and now Chester Bennington...

Both of these artists are very close to my heart... their lyrics have always conveyed how I have felt at particular times in my life, and Linkin Parks "Hybrid Theory" is one of the best rock/rap crossover albums of the last 20 yrs, as well as being completely stunning lyrically... in my opinion.
I rely so heavily on music to lose myself and "escape"... and also to work to... am just a turn it up and tune out girl. Am always primarily drawn to lyrics, because sometimes I don't have the words to convey how I feel about something, and if a musician can say it better.... I just sing along... loudly.

I was so shocked when I woke and heard that Chris Cornell had died, and so very saddened also to learn, later on, that he had taken his own life. 
I was always very aware of his battles with substance abuse and alcohol, all of my favourite musicians have had the same issues... so many artists have, and still use these ways of escape because of the extreme noise that their talent brings them.
That's the curse of fame... across the board really, and if you have a gentle soul, you will become a casualty of the immense pressure because of the amount you feel.

You just have to listen to Chris's music to know he battled with something very serious... lyrics as profound and beautiful as "Fell on Black Days" have come from living through darkness, absolutely no doubt.

I've chosen an acoustic version of the song to share with you, because there's nothing as real as one man and his guitar.

"Whomsoever I've cured, I've sickened now
And whomsoever I've cradled, I've put you down
I'm a search light soul they say
But I can't see it in the night

I'm only faking when I get it right
When I get it right"
That is pretty much how I feel, when the Dog has it's cold grip on me, faking it...

I have been very blessed to see Soundgarden play a few times. To witness Chris Cornells beautiful voice, and to share a moment of joy with a few random people around me... to 

Hearing about the sudden death of Chester Bennington, and again later realising it was suicide (and on what would have been Chris Cornells Birthday) is what has urged me to write this blog. 
"Hybrid Theory" for me is just a complete statement of personal conflict, pain, anger and eventual disappointment... leading to loss. 
The shared vocals (Chester and Mike) have always mimicked the argument in my head... between me and my demons... they have different styles and tones. Sometimes angry, but mostly argumentative and questioning... 
Again... this album has touched so many lives... for so many different, and entirely personal reasons. 
This is a great version of the song "One Step Closer"... 

The song builds slowly, to the eventual shouting of "Shut up".... 
It is for me, the perfect example of dark thoughts breeding anger... it is an amazing song, that again has come from deep inside the soul.... 
"A Place for My Head" is another one that just gets played loud... just a perfect expression of how depression makes people feel. 
"There's a place so dark you can't see the end" 
I am very lucky to have people in my life that I can reach out to... Please don't suffer alone, if I can help you, please reach out to me... I am contactable almost everywhere. I am not a therapist, but I can listen, and I will listen, without judgment, and with all my heart.