So, last night I paid a large amount of money to ParcelForce to deliver my Cherry Matchless to it's new home on the Isle of Wight...I booked for them to come and collect between 9am and 3pm, printed all the right documentation out etc... as you do?
So 2.45pm comes... and I am due to leave the house to collect J from school...still no ParcelForce person to collect the box... so I wait...
Cutting it close to the wire, Mr ParcelForce Man comes to my door.
"Hello" says I,
"Hello, love" says he..."wrong answer", thinks I
"Have you a plastic document keeper for the Address Label?" says I (It clearly states on the ParcelForce website that my driver would kindly provide one, as it is required)
"We don't do that, love" says he..."wrong answer", thinks I
"But it says on the website that you would provide one for me?" says I
"Well I don't know why it would say that, love, because we don't do it" says he..."wrong answer", thinks I
Can you see a pattern emerging here ?
So, I trotted off to the kitchen to get some cellotape to attatch the address label, stuck it on and proceeded to ask...
"You will be careful to keep the box the right way up, won't you?" says I
"Oh, I can't guarantee that, love, we get over 5000 parcels a day at the depot" says he..."wrong answer", thinks I
"Yes, but there's writing on it that says fragile and that it's supposed to be kept upright" says I
"Well, if it's fragile you shouldn't be sending it via ParcelForce, Love" says he
"Pardon me?" says I
"You are the only service that delivers to the Isle of Wight, so I had no choice!!" (voice tone appearing slightly strained by now)
By this time, he'd given me my receipt and had picked up the box, I almost expected him to turn it upside down on purpose, in accordance with his asinine attitude...but he didn't.
"Please be careful with it" says I (now incredibly glad I paid for the extra insurance)
Can you guess the response??
Yup......
"Oh, I can't guarantee that, love, we get over 5000 parcels a day at the depot"