Thursday, February 26, 2015

Waiting for a sign...

Picking up the pieces ?
Is that what it is supposed to be called ?
Feels a lot more like 'waiting for someone to pick up MY pieces' ...
I've pretty much always lived in my own head and have never been very good at talking about how I feel. Have never really needed to, always seemed to be able to work things out for myself.
Guess I was never really taught that it was okay to tell people how you really feel about stuff, or maybe once upon a time, I tried, and my feelings were trampled and disregarded.
Lesson learned.
Who knows ?
There's really only a few people who I can 'trust' my feelings with, even now. It's not that I see myself as being particularly that precious, but the vulnerable Sarah inside of me is, and she needs to be kept safe.
The everyday Sarah you see is the bodyguard, the protector, the shield.
My headspace feels so fractured at the moment, can't hold a positive thought or even contemplate undertaking anything vaguely worthwhile.
And the worse thing about it is I feel nothing...
C o u l d n ' t  c a r e  l e s s. .
It's like I am just 'existing'... and my sense of self-worth is at absolute zero again too, but that's no surprise.
There just seems to be cracks everywhere I look , so many it is almost like I am causing them. This is a ridiculous notion, believe me I KNOW, but I see no other reasonable explanation for it.
Is my current fragility making me see cracks where there are none?
Or is my inability to face up to things preventing me from fixing the cracks? Maybe I am just picking at them, not allowing them to heal... doing my usual stellar job of overthinking everything ?
I wouldn't know where to begin to fix how I feel right now, even if I could.
Fear is a destructive emotion. It's chipping away at my defenses, seeping through the aforementioned cracks, infecting everything.
One thing I do know, and that I put all faith in, is fate. Just like people who have a 'religious' faith, and put their confidence in their chosen deity.
Signs that I am on the right path keep appearing. No positive or negative weighting to them, just plain and simple affirmation.
I know that I am on some kind of a journey....
Just hope the destination involves less chaotic noise in my head and also much cider.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

My colourful process :)

I am sure I have shared my process when spinning for a 3 ply yarn before, but as this blog is kinda of an online journal for me, I'll go over it again :)
I like to take lots of pictures of every stage, because it helps reaffirm my fibre choices as I go. Colours may look wonderful and perfect when they are still a roving, but things do change once you have spun them.

Step One: Choosing the ingredients ...

(Left to Right) Southern Cross Fibres Polwarth, Southern Cross Fibres Corriedale and last but in way least, JulieSpins Falkland

Step Two: Once I have made my colour choices I then begin spinning, one roving at a time, taking pictures of every stage, just in case something has changed after the roving has been spun.

 

Step Three: Plying

Once it's plyed, it gets a bath and a little bit of manhandling to help it balance out.... This picture is pre-bath ...


Sometimes the yarn works out just as I hoped, and sometimes it doesn't :P This is a little on the pink side for me, so it will have to be rehomed!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

For Sale!



I've had this Louet S51 DT for a few years now. It's a discontinued model, and I bought it from Janet at the Threshing Barn.

I love Louets, they are such intuitive wheels, what you see is what you get, no overcomplications, just plug and play :) I've owned a few over the years, so I am speaking from experience ;)

The poor thing is sitting in my understairs cupboard, all lonely and un-used... it's be a perfect first wheel, I learned on an S10 :)

It comes with 5 bobbins, which hold loads of yarn.... and I am looking to get £350 plus carriage for the wheel and the bobbins, or you can come and collect :) Then you'd get a look in my studio and maaaybe some fibre too ;)

Just email/Rav/FB or Tweet message me... am not too hard to find :D



Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Spinning again :)

Went to a Spinning/Crafting Day on Saturday, and managed to clear away some fears of 

a) Being in a large group of semi-strangers and 
b) Not wanting to craft in public (self-confidence issues, I guess)

This might sound ridiculous (I know reading it back does :P, trust me) but I do get anxious about dealing with people and their reactions to me now, after losing my Mum. 
I had to deal with SO much of that whilst up at my Folks place, as my Mums passing was so very sudden. Dealing with other peoples grief is somewhat difficult, especially when you are trying SO hard to deal with your own. 
But, the next few months will be full of dealing with things like this, and I am so very lucky to have very awesome friends who hold me up and encourage me forward ♥
Anyway, I had some gorgeous BFL already on a bobbin, that I got from the awesome Freyalyn... bought it from her at Fibre East this year, and it got left alone due to hollybobs and knitting and well, Life in general :P 
I continued with the plan that I had for it, and my wheel decided to be very kind to me ... 


... and the fibre just flew out of my hands and onto the bobbin.

Always a good sign.

I finished spinning the whole 115g of it over the weekend, and chose some semi-solid bluey/grey Polwarth-Tencel from one of Southern Cross Fibres Club packages to use as the other ply, yes my friends, a 2 ply... *Shock~Horror*... (right now am looking to actually produce something, not get 1/2 way through a 3rd bobbin for a 3 ply and lose interest :P)
I spun a little of the Polwarth-Tencel last night, to make a sample skein, just to be absolutely sure I'd made the right choice...

I needn't have worried about that :p


There's about 32g there, didn't measure yardage... will do that once I have set the twist.

I have no idea what it will all become, but YaY to a little creativity and productivity :)


Friday, December 05, 2014

Sophora


This is the completed 2014 Woollywormhead Mystery Hat KAL, Sophora

The crown detail is all my own design :D

I made the 3rd size, so was left with 13 stitches after the crown decreases. So for every one of the 13 stitches I had left, I planned to cast-on 20 stitches using the crochet cast on method into each one, then immediately cast them off again.

Eventually decided that 13 was a dodgy number, so I only made 10, and just purled the remaining 3 stitches together :)
Love this hat SO much ! !


Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Onwards...


Now that the first clue in the WW MKAL is completed (please don't click the link unless you are happy to see a spoiler!), I can continue with my shawl... am very happy with how it's turning out :)


I just weighed the yarn I have left, and there's around 50g of each still to go, so am officially at the half-way point... and oh, the colours to come *GRiNS*


Saturday, November 01, 2014

WoollyWormhead Mystery Knit-a-Long, 2014




It's that time of year again :) It's WW MKAL time!!

In it's 7th year now, and every year it just gets bigger... so you must come over to Woolly's Ravelry Forum and join in with all the fun :) We have such an amazing bunch of Hatters there, really friendly and helpful!!

If you are on Twitter, you can @WoollyWormhead, or use the hashtag #wwmysteryhat ...and there's a Facebook Page too, so you have lots of ways to see what's occurring!

There's even a discussion thread on the forum for you to add your location, so we can all see where in the world people are knitting their MKAL hats!

I have chosen some Radiance sock for my hat, in green of course ....  :P


And something else... I knit a swatch!! First knitting something with PINK in it, now a swatch... 


Please.Send.HELP :P