.:: Tribute ::.

First of all, I'd like to extend a HUGE thankyou to everyone, for their heartfelt messages, and all the support and love both myself and my Dad have recieved over the last week or so. It has helped us both more than you could ever know, and boy have we needed it.

It's at times like these that true friends really show up and give you what you need.

It was a very great shock, to both myself and my Dad, to learn about the severity of my Mums condition, as we ourselves only found out she was seriously ill on Thursday the 2nd October.

She'd concealed and carried her burden alone... her final gift of Love.

She had experienced the unpleasantness of invasion and powerlessness for the patient and also the coldness of the institutions, at the end of the lives of both her parents, Norman and Millie.

This was something she definitely didn't want us to have to endure.

My Mum was a homebird. She wrapped her house around her like a protective shield from the world, and treasured it's comfort and order. The house was always spotless, and everything had a specific 'home'.

When I arrived home on Saturday 4th October, with my boys, the final jigsaw pieces had slipped into place. Her home was in order, and she was ready to let go of this incredibly heavy and latterly, corrosive, burden. My Boys had to return to Leicester for school and work later on that day, and all that was left, was us three...

We were here with her, every step of the way, telling her we loved her and that we'd keep her safe until she chose to move on to her next destination.

Her time arrived at 7.15pm on Sunday 5th October. She was exactly where she wanted to be, with the people she loved the most in the whole world and we were all protected by a home she had nurtured for over 40 years.

My Mum got exactly what she wanted ON HER TERMS, something she had fought so vehemently to achieve, and that makes me so happy. She hasn't left me, or my dad, ill equipped. In fact she's taught me how to endure something very painful with serenity, and most of all, dignity.

Another important lesson I have taken from this, is that if you want to achieve something important to you, you CAN make it happen, if you go about it the right way...

My Mum always believed in being the better person, turning the other cheek if you will, always putting others needs before her own...

This doctrine is also central to my role as a human being, and more importantly, as a Mother.

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'I Sit Beside the Fire and Think' is a song found in J.R.R Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring. Bilbo Baggins sings it in Rivendell, a few days before Frodo leaves.

I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies
in summers that have been;

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair.

I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall ever see

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood in every spring
there is a different green.

I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know.

But all the while I sit and think
of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door.