Wednesday, June 22, 2011

*Taps mike* Testing...Testing...

Hello my peeps, long time no see, huh?
I really hope this blog post finds you all well...

I've been out of the loop for a few months now, trying to hide out, in the vain hope that no-one notices I am gone.
But I got rumbled, BIG TIME.

For that, I thank you all. The constant emails (they wern't bounced...I got them ALL, never fear!) and messages of support has reassured my inner Princess that she IS important and that she needs to stop being so petulant and selfish.

The reasons for my absence are many and very complicated, but the THING that kicked it all off was the news that my beloved Husbeast was finally losing his job. A job he's held for 15 years, with the same company. It'd been on the cards for 3 years, "restructuring due to funding cuts" and suddenly it was really happening. We felt like the ground had disappeared from beneath us, and we still feel like that now. This HUGE thing finally robbed me, on a personal level, of my ability to cope with any form of responsibility, and ultimately enthusiasm for my work.
Add to the mix a pre-teen who is a male version of me, fear for my family's future and an assinine reluctance to admit there is anything wrong (insert "LaLaLa I am not listening" here) and you have the last 4 months of my life in a nutshell.
You'd think the prospect of Husbeasts' impending redundancy would spur me on to build on Babylonglegs' success, but it didn't. Any semblence of confidence, self belief and self esteem disappeared into the ether.

I have buried myself deep in denial, and have withdrawn from everything... just ask any of my friends if they have spoken to me lately, and you'll get "Sarah Who" *cackles* I have even lost interest in my knitting and spinning.
MoJo well and truly "Gone Fishing"....

But hopefully, this is all about to change. I need to get out of this empty abyss and start being productive again. I am just going to dive right in and start dyeing again, and not set myself too many goals. Keep things fresh and non-repetitive so that my MoJo reclaims its rightful place again.

So... gone are repeatables.
I dye it...if you like it, you buy it.

Sound good??

23 Comments:

Blogger longdrawjames said...

Hi Sarah
I'm so sorry to hear of everything you've been through. It certainly doesn't seem it's been easy for you! I'm so pleased that you're back though! Certainly you have been missed :)
sending you hugs and happy vibes for you and for your dyeing! :)

James (Longdrawjames) :) xx

10:19 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

THERE you are! I have been wondering where you had gotten to.

I've been where you are - in many respects I am still there. Make sure you surround yourself with supportive people who will let you vent, no matter how silly it seems. Take things one step one day and one hour at a time, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Do whatever you can, and when the 'good days' come, take the opportunity to push yourself a little bit. You will feel better for it on the next 'bad day'. I promise.

You have been missed!

12:35 AM  
Blogger Miffy said...

Hugs. I miss you.

8:00 AM  
Blogger Carol Feller said...

I've been thinking about you Sarah, very glad you've posted and are starting back dyeing...one step at a time, you'll get there girl!

8:19 AM  
Blogger Sharon said...

It's nice to see you posting again. So sorry you've been having such a hard time - I'm not surprised you want to hide. Take it easy.

8:54 AM  
Blogger mandyknits said...

Oh hunny, we've missed you! Take all the time you need. xx

9:06 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Missed your posts and your woolly squishyness welcome back. Have fun dyeing.

9:20 AM  
Blogger fibreclaireUK said...

I've been there. Sending hugs and love. Pm me if you want to XXXX

Great news that you are getting back to your roots. My credit card has run off and hidden - your stuff is irresistable!!!

10:48 AM  
Blogger Evelyn said...

*hugs* I've been missing you. Glad to see you posting again :-)

11:12 AM  
Blogger CraftyClare said...

I'm sorry life has taken a nosedive. Fishing is good for the soul but hoping your mojo springs back xxx

2:09 PM  
Blogger Mandymosey said...

Have really missed you so glad you are slowly coming back to us. Sending love and hugs for all the bad times.
Amanda.xx

3:36 PM  
Blogger coop said...

Yay for unrepeatables! I've missed you and I've learned to spin lately.......

3:47 PM  
Blogger lottie said...

Hello Beautiful. I love you xXx

4:35 PM  
Blogger Daisy said...

Sorry to hear your news - although great to see you back again. Please keep producing your beautiful yarns. You've been really missed.

6:50 PM  
Blogger Anne-Marie said...

You have been missed. I was starting to worry as it had been a while.

Bum to your husbeast losing his job, but you will move on and you will cope and you will survive because you have to. And there is nothing like a big kick up the bum to make your survival instincts kick in - eventually at least.

I have also been going through some shit for the last year but have also recently decided to sod the lot of em and carry on regardless.

Big hugs xx

11:41 PM  
Blogger Artis-Anne said...

We have missed you hun and I totally understand how you feel,its a scary road but you will get there :) Just do what gives you pleasure re dyeing ,that's the only way I think creativity flourishes .

7:07 AM  
Blogger maryg said...

Hi Sara, I wish I was near enough to give you a hug and a big piece of cake. Life seems so tough sometimes but bad times do pass. Remember you are allowed to feel down - it is normal and you will get to feel better. You will cope because you have to cope for your whole family but I do know how hard it is. Just go one day at a time and do what you can each day,

love, Mary

7:36 AM  
Blogger litlemouse said...

So sorry to hear you've been having a tough time. Glad to see you're dyeing again. Will be thinking of you all.

Jennie x

7:11 PM  
Blogger Ambermoggie, a fragrant soul said...

Phew, so pleased to see you posting again, as you know Mr Mog and I were both worried over the silece. Do what feels right for you. You arensuch an inspiring person. Spinning some of your merino silk Ambermoggie colour way as we speak, love from us two. Missed yo at woolfest

10:23 PM  
Blogger Woolly Wormhead said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Woolly Wormhead said...

Hugs. I miss you, and I'm mighty glad you're back here sharing with us x

2:11 PM  
Blogger Simmo said...

Up and at em girl. Don't lie down and get kicked, get kicking!

12:24 AM  
Blogger SewIknit2 said...

I know a little of how you are feeling on behalf of your dh, I am still going through upsetful feelings following my own redundancy a few years ago. its difficult to move on and sometimes hiding out within yourself seems the ONLY option!
but I'm glad you are sounding positive! and wish you LUCK and hope everything moves onwards and upwards for BOTH of you!
Sue x

11:28 AM  

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